It's 01:15 and I miss you. I want to just send you a text. One text saying that I miss you. And that life hasn't been the same since you left. I wish things would've turned out differently.
More than 6 months have gone by, and I still can't let go off that last sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, you'll come back. You'll come back and tell me that you loved me. You were just afraid to confront those feelings of yours or maybe you thought the timing was not right. But who am I kidding?
Of course, you won't. Because it's me, not you. It's me who can't just let go. Every time I think about some other guy, your face and name pop up in my head. And it frustrates me because I can't move on. It frustrates me that everyone around me is going on with there lives, and 'little-old-me' can't stop thinking about you.
I want to send you a text, I want to call you and discuss it. But then again, I don't want to look clingy. That has always been my problem. I can't just do not overthink. Overthinking is a second skin for me. I miss you. I miss you so much.
This is actually a dangerous addiction for my life, I know. To be addicted to your behavior and memories such that I can even guess correctly, which color shirt you'll wear today. And sometimes it's like I want more at all the cost of all the losses and pain, nothing else matters than being with you. Even if it's going to be painful to reach out to you, it doesn't really matter until and unless it's about you. Because what I feel, is something you don't understand or maybe you don't want to understand.
For me, life is about you and with you. Not talking to you, not seeing you is killing me day by day, moment by moment and it only makes me feel incomplete. I don't feel lonely, because my heart is doing all the talk.
And maybe, no matter how much I say that I'll be strong and not go back to you, maybe, I might just do that. If you'd have me, I'll come back in a breath without a second thought.
Keep smiling and believe in yourself 😊
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